Simon Hottrin

Simon Hottrin was a vandal of cows.

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Played by Mark Heap.

Crime-doing
In 1997, Park Farm was struck by a storm of cow-based vandalism. Anti-cow slogans ('Cowe gonna be chopps') appeared on walls, and a cow was decorated with unpleasantries such as 'Twat,' 'Fucknut,' and 'Arsecandle.'

Hottrin was soon caught on camera murmuring cruelties to a cow through a headset. Known locally as Chob, Hottrin was extracting revenge on the cow, as dead land owner Edith Bates had left the farmland to it in her will.

As well as daubing obscenities and saying nasty things, Hottrin is known to have chained the cow to a filing cabinet and also to a Mini engine in a shopping trolley.

During his trial, Hottrin was punched by a man partially dressed as a cow.

With the help of American psychiatrists, Brass Eye's Ted Maul concluded that Hottrin was a homosexual man with 'a mind as bent as a bad hedge.'

Personal life
At the time of his crimes, Hottrin did odd jobs and lived in a field.

(BE E1)